My arms are aching as I try to move, drowsily. The snag in my kinetic ability is swamping me to the point of asphyxiation. I can feel my heartbeat rising. I feel trapped. I cannot open my eyes. My mind is panicking. Exasperated and painful sobs try to escape my mouth. But, instead, I cough inwardly. I am bound and gagged! My mind shrieks a screaming siren – and my eyes fly open!
I stare blindly into the glaring light, feeling disoriented. My surroundings, gradually, come into focus. I wonder if someone dimmed the brightness, or I just got accustomed to it. I cannot tell. My breathing is still heavy, but, slowly my heart reduces its pace to a normal rate. I stare at the dull, cream-coloured ceiling above. I, almost, sigh in relief, when…What…? No!!! This can’t be happening! I AM gagged and…and tied to my bed! What is going on?! My thoughts scream as panic kicks in.
Just then, I feel his presence. Sitting right beside me, in the bedside chair. Dark and ominous. I feel an icy chill run through my veins, engulfing my heart in a cold, skeletal clasp. He turns his masked face slowly towards me, and I feel a searing, hot, iron-rod blow in my brain. But, my frozen muscles disallow me to even wince. I have fallen into a shocked vegetative state, though, my mind and senses’ alertness is at its optimum.
The ominous figure leans forward, towards me. As he does so, the bright sunny day, in degrees, turns dark and ominous like his presence. Now, his sole dominion is spread over my visual perception. Locking his bottomless pits of eyes with mine, he rasps, caustically: “You have lost her!”
I hear an incessant, blood-curdling screech in my mind, as a strong wave of acute melancholy throws me into the dark pits of his stare and I feel myself falling, my mind flipping, losing all sense of gravity and stability. Swirling, while my brain is exploding with the relentless screeching coupled with the excruciating pain in my head, I suddenly find myself jolting from my bed, unbound and ungagged, but then again, enveloped in pitch-black darkness.
“You have lost her!” I recall the ominous figure’s deathly declaration. I cannot lose her…No…! I cannot. I start sobbing in anguish and agony. I don’t know where she is! I don’t know how to find her… again…
I lurch out of the bed and sprint into the darkness, my pounding heart, beating against the frame of its cage. My eyes futilely dart around. Not a speck of light in sight, I flail my arms for stability and direction-finding, though, only fall and stumble. My body feels numb to the bruises and cuts as if I am a passenger in someone else’s body steering and course-plotting in an unknown sea of obscurity.
As I drown in my despair in the submerging sea of darkness, the ground caves in and I stagger and fall down a slope I can see jagged with pieces of glass that tear at my flesh. I sense no pain from the bodily wounds, nonetheless, each cut in my attire cuts through at my heart and brain. Blood spurts through my nose and mouth from my brain and heart. Finally, I land hard on a scorching hot, deserted paved ground, with the sun right over my head. My bleeding skin starts burning and peeling. I drag myself. I urge myself to keep moving. I urge myself to remember her. Find her! No matter what it takes.
I spot a lake, ahead.
Is it a mirage?
Is my mind deceiving me?
Is my heart weakening me?
No… I only have these to depend on. They haven’t failed me, yet. They won’t fail me, now.
I crawl on, the blistering sun fizzles out as I near the lake. My weary eyes discern a faint source of light across the lake, at the top of a rocky mountain. My heart starts yearning for it. I plunge into the salt-water lake and feel electrifying jolts of pain in my brain. My body becomes ponderous. Don’t give up, now. Let me not die while I’m still alive, I pray. My salty tears and the salty tears of the lake unify, fusing in their sorrow. In that moment of united empathy for each other’s pain, the lake’s tears become a healing force for my open wounds, and my tears mend the broken pieces of the empty, friendless life the lake had before.
Rejuvenated, I take firm and strong strokes towards the shore. After several strokes, I reach the shore – the base of the mountain. Tears of yearning, anticipation, fear, anxiousness, intermingled with numerous other emotions flow in rivulets down my face. I climb the rocky mountain, my hands and feet feeling for steady areas to scale upwards. After a long and laborious ordeal, I reach the mountain top.
The unrestricted free fluttering of cloth greets my ears, welcoming them to liberty, at last. Drapes of white cloth are flying serenely in the light breeze, adorning the faintly glowing tall object. As I come closer to it, the glow becomes stronger. With each step, my heart bursts with childlike excitement, flapping like a caged bird of the high skies, anticipating its freedom, sensing it is finally going to soar the skies, again.
I, at long last, come face to face with the colossal object. Festooned with the drapes of white cloth, garlanded by an intricately, gilded frame, stands my unperturbed, unscathed, pure reflection in the mirror.
My sore-self, sighs in relief and weepily breathes, “I thought…I thought I lost you, again.”
“But, you found me…yet again,” my untainted reflection calmly smiles and extends her hand.
My sore-self follows suit, extending her hand towards her pure reflection, until the fingertips of both touch and meet each other. A healing wave emits from my untainted reflection streams over and through my sore-self, sending a glowing, soothing palliative coursing through the veins of my sore-self, and the glow extends to the surrounding washing them all white, working as a sedative on my sore-self.
“I will,” I whisper, as my sore-eyes begin to rest, “always be on the verge of losing you…but, I will not…”
– SKY –
© Seemeen Khan Yousufzai and SKY’S REALM, 2015. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Seemeen Khan Yousufzai and SKY’S REALM with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.