In The Walk Of A Past Life

The Life of Psi

In the rains of the storm,
In the silence of my solitude,
I walk again on the paths
I once long back traversed.

In the walk of a past life
Every step I take forth
Fear shivers and harshly pulls me back
‘Don’t venture there!’ says the silent foe.

I reply, holding its hand firmly,
‘It is time we pay our due.’
And march ahead, sturdily.

In the walk of the past life
I meet strangers by every stride
In the walk of the past life
I sense I know’em from beyond the bay.

I come across Denial
Who greets me like an old friend,
With a dip in the river of numbness
I am washed away.

I come across Trauma
Who greets me like an old friend,
With thunders of pain, terror and helplessness
I am seared ash grey.

I come across Grief
Who greets me like an old friend,
With a reminder of wretchedness
I am morphed into emotional decay.

I come across Anger
Who greets me like an old friend,
With a memento of blame and bitterness
I am, again, led astray.

In the crowd of old friends
My fidgety eyes look for
A familiar face on this familiar path
A lost soul, the sole reminder of myself that I hath.

In the massiveness of the night
With the butchering of my mind
I walk again with a new thought
I wonder what the night has in store.

Fear has resigned
Curiosity has overtaken
My being breathes in the familiar torture
It savours the sweetness of the inverse future.

In the walk of the past life,
The fiery wounds await me
In the walk of the past life,
I have set out to dress the lesions.

I come across my Child-Self
Who greets me with a lost look,
With a pain that gashes through my being
I am blown away.

I come across my Child-Self
And I cease to exist…alone.

I come across my Child-Self
And I form a bond becoming…a bone.

Oh! Drop all the promises of not breaking down,
Drop all the facade, I don’t want indestructibility’s crown.

Let me cry
Let me weep
Let me hold my Child-Self
In an embrace and sleep.

Let us pour forth the pain in our chests,
Let us rub our eyes in our thorn-nests,
Let the flow wash away the stabbing broken glasses and the rest.

In the walk of the past life,
My Old-Self tells my Child-Self
I wish I was there with you when no one was,

In the walk of the past life,
My Old-Self tells my Child-Self
I wish I was there to protect you when no one was

In the walk of the past life,
My Old-Self tells my Child-Self
I wish was there to stand for you when no one was.

In the walk of the past life,
My Old-Self tells my Child-Self,
I wish I could wipe your tears and hold you tight when no one did

In the walk of the past life,
My Old-Self tells my Child-Self
I wish I could hide you from all the evil in this world
You had to witness.
You had to endure.

In the walk of the past life,
My Old-Self tells my Child-Self
I wish I was there for you…

My Child-Self looks at me
With a look wise beyond its years
‘Don’t let the cruelty of the world
Crumble the purity of your soul,
You have to collide with circumstances,
But keep yourself whole.’

I get up, enlightened
Walking towards the morning
Taking tentative steps forward.

Every inch I move forward
The skeletal hand of the past
Clutches at my robes and pulls me backward.

I hear this wise companion warning me,
‘O, my shadow of times ahead,
Let not the root of despair grow a tree
It is time for you to live for yourself and for me.’
– SKY

© Seemeen Khan Yousufzai and SKY’S REALM, 2015. Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this blog’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Seemeen Khan Yousufzai and SKY’S REALM with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.